waitlist.

well.. fredrick told me that he'd come make me breakfast this morning and leave, then come back to work at 3 today. he never came this morning and when i call him, i get the message saying, "the person that you are calling is not able to take calls at this time right now.". i hope he's alright. i made myself breakfast and i must've made myself a lot of malt-o-meal because i'm not REALLY hungry right now. the ics helped me check on housing.. i could've sworn that i was on the top of this one waiting list when zen was working here but now that i've checked with them- they said it'll probably be at least 10 yrs until i get to the top of it again. another ics worker just helped me check on one of the apartments and i could've sworn they said i was like #64.. i need to look which apartment that was now. oh yeah.. here it is. i'm not sure if this is the one i just called today and i feel like they might've told me a different number (unless it's my stupid memory placing false information in my brain again).. hm.. wtf.. it IS the same apartment we called today and they told me 88. oh well.. hopefully i get there before they shove me in a nursing home first (since no one cares to advocate for me to make sure they don't try to stick me in one- even though my grandma was STRICTLY against nursing homes.. especially since i'm not elderly). considering no one gives a fuck to make sure i get there faster when i KNOW it's within their abilities. i gotta go let my therapist in now. hopefully she'll help me out with this shit.